Teressa Moore Griffin, Executive Coach, Speaker, Author
The 2010 Resolution Solution
From LIES to TRUTH
Every year, many of us make New Year’s resolutions…only to make the same resolutions again the following year. Whether it’s to lose weight; improve a relationship; take better care of your health; exercise regularly; spend more quality time with your kids or aging parents; save more money; stop smoking; or improve your standing in the workplace, year after year, if you’re like most of us, you resolve to fix the same old problem. Why is that? What gets in the way of achieving your goals, satisfying your resolution?
LIES – Labels;Illusions; Excuses; and Stories – they’re what get in the way of our ability to consistently experience the joy and satisfaction of goal achievement.
LIES are the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that define your range of choices and determine what you do, how you behave. They force you to settle for less than the best of what you want to do, have, and be. LIES keep you from keeping the promises you make to yourself at the start of every new year.
LIES, those Labels; Illusions; Excuses; and Stories, set up false limits. LIES even undermine your belief that you can change, and they challenge your ability to dream big, or at all. LIES narrow the range of options and possibilities you see for yourself.
Here are some examples of LIES:
• I can’t because…
• I don’t know how to…
• They won’t let someone like me…
• I just don’t have the time to…
• Everybody [feels, thinks, is] that way.
• Everybody does – sometime.
• I’ll do it later, when I have more time; not now.
• When – happens, then I’ll be able to…
• When the kids are older I’ll…
• That kind of thing happens to other people, not me.
• That will never happen. Nobody in my family [neighborhood, school, racial or ethnic group] has ever – before.
All of us, including you, carry Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories around in our heads. Most often, they’re beneath conscious awareness. Think about it, if you knew they were there, you’d banish them, change them, or pull them out by their roots. But, they’re old and familiar; they’ve been with you for a long time. In fact, you think they are who you are – they’re just that powerful and defining. Unearthed, unexplored, unexamined, they interfere with your ability and willingness to intentionally achieve many of the goals you set for yourself, no matter how noble and right the goal may be.
Setting a goal is like looking at the tip of an iceberg. You can write it down, making it material. You can look at it and read it. That’s all good. Yet, what you see and are aware of is a tiny part of the whole, massive thing.
The real issue is the huge, hidden foundation that’s beneath the waterline. There, beneath the waterline, lies all the “stuff” that makes up your attitude and beliefs…your very own treasure chest of Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories.
Now, we all know that a big part of the formula for success, for achieving any goal, is your attitude. But most of what makes up your attitude is outside of your awareness, buried beneath the waterline. Get that?! The stuff that’s really running the show, your show and mine, is out of view, invisible, not in our conscious awareness. And a good portion of what makes up the base of the iceberg, which is the vast majority of any iceberg, isn’t necessarily the truth. Much of it is LIES – Labels, Illusions; Excuses; and Stories.
LIES create a hindrance to change; they foster resistance, generate friction, and lead to internal dissonance and discomfort. Friction and resistance slow you down; they put the brakes on forward movement. The steady force of friction can derail you and keep you off track. Resistance will cause you to sabotage your own good ideas and efforts. Before you know it, you’ve moved in the opposite direction of your goal, you’re standing still wondering why you’re not making progress. Your energy and attention have been diverted, co-opted, suppressed, and/or repressed. Before long, you’re depressed, weary, and hopeless.
Who needs that as a life story? Not me, and not you.
For me, 2010 is the year of letting go of LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories – and shoring up the foundation of my life so that more and more, I live TRUTH.
Join me on this journey. Let’s work together to dispel the LIES that limit us and learn to live TRUTH, moment-to-moment, day-to-day.
When you live TRUTH, you consciously choose to:
• Take time to look within and analyze your self and the situation you’re in.
• Reflect on what you’re thinking; how you’re feeling; and what you’re saying, to yourself and others. Your job is to look, sense, and listen for the LIES – the Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories – that are playing out in your thoughts, feelings, conversations, and ultimately in your actions and the resulting circumstances of your life.
• Understand your full range of choices. What are your options and possibilities…all of them? Your goal is to get your thoughts, feelings, and conversation – your energy and attitude – to be aligned with, your goal and intentions.
• Test the credibility of your commitment? Are you fully committed? Or, does the goal just sound like a good idea, or seems like something you should do? Is there alignment between what’s above the waterline – your stated goal or intention – and what’s below the waterline – your real thoughts, feelings, and beliefs? Do all levels of your conversations – the ones in your head and the ones you articulate – align with your goal and the actions you’re considering? If so, you have a match; you’ve aligned your energy and intentions, your head and heart. Now, you’re really on your way.
• Hold yourself accountable. If you feel yourself slipping as the year progresses, take full responsibility for getting back on track. Blame no one, not even yourself. If you have a day of failure or forgetting, hold yourself accountable and simply start over, get back on track. If your commitment is authentic, you’ll find new and creative ways to be faithful to yourself and continue moving toward your goal.
I want to be in communication and relationship with people who also decide to make 2010 their year of letting go of LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories – and strengthen the foundation of their lives so that more and more, you and I say “No!” to limiting LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses, and Stories – and “YES!” to TRUTH.
Checkout my blog weekly and look for the latest posting. Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Share your experiences, progress, and challenges with me and other readers who are determined to transform LIES by using TRUTH.